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Emily Dickinson


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I Remember That Song...

By Louise Kovacs

 

I remember that song. A marriage ago. A lifetime ago. "You've made me so very happy. I'm so glad you came into my life." Blood, Sweat and Tears. We'd go out for breakfast every Saturday. A waffle for me. Toast for you. We'd put a quarter in the jukebox, and dance to our song. (I'm still dancing, but not with you.)

Haven't heard that song for years, but this morning, I turned on the radio, and it was playing. An echo of the past. Reminded me of dancing to "our song" at Woodstock, carefree in the rain, splattered with mud. Hippies. We believed in free love, peace not war, freedom. We thought that we had invented sex, and the city was our playground. We would climb to the top of Mount Royal and sleep on a rock. Wake up in the middle of the night, gazing at stars. Absolute silence. An oasis in the middle of the city.

That was before reality intruded. Pregnancy. Morning sickness. Ten thousand dollars of debt that you had forgotten to tell me about. Bill collectors hounding me, demanding to be repaid. Before I discovered that I'd been married to a stranger for two years. You hadn't lived in London for two years, didn't have a degree in photography. I'd look at you, and see a stranger.

Our marriage dragged on for fifteen years. I rarely think about you, unless something reminds me. "Our song" playing on the radio. Your father dying of cancer. 

 

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